practicing non-reactivity
February 15, 2012 2 Comments
I don’t know if you’ve ever had a moment, but before I began 40 Days, I felt kind of like this (in my head, not out loud) at times of really high stress:
Each week has a theme: week 1 is presence (bringing the idea of being present to your practice on and off the mat), week 2 is vitality (enriching your life with people/foods/things that bring you vitality and energy and letting go of resentment) and week 3 (the one I’m on now) is equanimity (maintaining peace of mind and practicing non-reactivity).
So reactivity relates to how you react to something that happens to you or something you’re doing — like screaming like Jenelle, dropping into child’s pose instead of trying an inversion, slowing down your pace because it’s uncomfortable, snapping at someone because they were rude to you, etc. All of those examples are negative and don’t get you to your goal or help you maintain a healthy, peaceful emotional state.
Non-reactivity got me through a tough situation last week (and I hadn’t even read the week 3 chapter yet), but it’s been a challenge this week, off the mat at least. I’ve been thinking a lot about how it can help my running — being less lazy when it comes to workouts, actually doing speedwork and not reacting when it’s uncomfortable.
I ran 4 miles yesterday, with no intention of going fast, but after running the first mile in 8:50, the last three had to be faster, of course. And then with 1.5 left, I had a perfect opportunity to practice non-reactivity: I almost got hit by a car.
I was at a stoplight, waiting for the light to turn so I could cross. The light turned red and a car came barreling through the intersection, nearly hitting the other cars whose light was green. They honked and slammed on their brakes. I could tell before I crossed that they weren’t going to stop, so I stepped back, threw my middle fingers at them and screamed, “it’s a fucking red light you asshole!”
It’s February, it was barely 40 degrees, I’m sure they didn’t hear me, but I was wearing a bright yellow vest, so they had to have seen me.
I was pissed for the next minute or so. Hoping they’d get pulled over (25 mph speed limit, residential area), hoping karma would get them, etc. But then I realized how I was reacting to the situation — I wasn’t letting it go, I couldn’t stop the driver from being dangerous and driving recklessly. I hadn’t died and I couldn’t change the situation.
There was no need for me to react that way to it. The same way there’s no need for me to be pissed about my knee injury, berate myself for not being able to do an inversion yet or be unhappy that my boyfriend isn’t here. There’s nothing I can do about those situations but accept them and move on and keep running.
We have to pass through what is messy and sometimes painful if we are to get to the bliss on the other side.












